Saturday, January 19, 2019
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*Note: This essay is the seventh of seven authored by Jeremy for the LDS Midsingle (31-45+) community. The opinions and thoughts shared therein are his own and unless otherwise noted all names and circumstances of stories have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved. 


 


jeremy c holm bobsled authorMy dear friends, I know it has been a few weeks (months?) since my last post and for that I apologize. This Summer has been, well, shall we say a little hectic. In fact, I'm not sure I have ever faced a period as difficult as this one has been. In a way, I understand what Rocky felt like when he was fighting Drago in "Rocky IV"; it was just punch after punch after punch.

At the risk of sounding like a whiny baby, there have been days, even weeks, where I was not sure I could keep going. I wanted to throw in the towel in moments, moments when the fears or tears were almost too much. Despite my attempts to dig deep into faith and optimism and trust in God,...life has almost felt like it was repeating Drago's words to Rocky when he said, "I must break you."

Maybe I'm not as strong as the world thinks, or as I thought. Despite training for the Olympics, publishing books, speaking on stage, graduating college and all the "great works" that I've tried to do...I'm still 100% human. And as the punches kept coming, as the adversities kept growing, as the fears rolled over me like waves, as the dark nights grew darker... I guess I felt like the prophet Joseph Smith in Liberty Jail when he cried out, "Oh, God, where art thou?" And while I know that God was helping me make changes, to grow, to leave old ways behind, and that for that I should drop to my knees in gratitude (which I have), there is also the truth that my soul, my heart, even my body and mind have felt pushed beyond their limits.

I also know that many strong, beautiful souls in this world can relate. Maybe you can. Maybe it is your coworker or roommate or friend or a family member who feels the weight of some burden on their shoulders. And that is ok; we are in this life to be tested, and to be tested you have to have resistance and opposition. But that does not mean that we have to do it alone. Ever. 

*Note: This essay is the sixth of seven authored by Jeremy for the LDS Midsingle (31-45+) community. The opinions and thoughts shared therein are his own and unless otherwise noted all names and circumstances of stories have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved. 


 

Jeremy C Holm bobsled author speakerHaving just returned from seven glorious days on an Alaska cruise with an amazing group of midsingles, I believe my waistline suffers from post-cruise poundage. But the views were incredible, the wildlife breathtaking and the memories will last a lifetime. So thank you everyone who joined us! We are already working on our next adventure: a Western Caribbean Cruise.

The Alaska cruise gave me a lot of time to think, perhaps too much. Like many of you, my thoughts flutter between faith and the burdens I carry, hope and the fears about the future. As an LDS midsingle I have a sure foundation through our religious beliefs, but life has a way of giving us exhilarating highs mixed with heart-wrenching lows.

I had to laugh when the other day someone said, "Jeremy, you've had such an amazing life, the kind I wish I had!" I smiled, but my thoughts turned to all the trials and fires and fears and adversities that I have gone through. I think that sometimes as midsingles we look on other midsingles's lives with perhaps a touch of envy. I get it. Sometimes it is the job, the appearance, the family, the spirit, the joy, and so on. I think that is a very human trait, albeit one that Heavenly Father has asked us to resist because it usually leads to sorrow, perhaps even depression, and a certain blindness to the blessings that He has given us already.

Let's face it: adversity can be hard. Whether it is a brutal divorce, the loss of a job, a wayward child, financial stress, or just a dream we reached for but have yet to achieve, trials can pierce our hearts and like a weary boxer leave us struggling to stay on our feet.  

I feel like this year has been a year of painful growth for me. Perhaps I better understand Job and everything he went through. Luckily I have had some great friends, good family, Priesthood leaders and support to get through everything so far. But as they say, I'm not out of the woods yet so my heart and my soul feel a bit of the weight of this world. And it is that weight that I want to write about. 

*Note: This essay is the fifth of seven authored by Jeremy for the LDS Midsingle (31-45+) community. The opinions and thoughts shared therein are his own and unless otherwise noted all names and circumstances of stories have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved. 


 

Walls around our heartsAs an LDS midsingle, I have heard quite a bit of talk about "walls" lately. I don't mean Donald Trump's Mexico Wall, Pink Floyd's album, or even the Great Wall of China. No, these walls are of a more personal nature for each of us as human beings and children of God.

I am, of course, referring to those emotional and mental walls that form around our hearts.

As someone who is all too familiar with such walls, I have spent the past few years seeking out the right tools to break down some of my own. Contrary to popular (unpopular?) opinion, dating is not easy for me (I blame it on the cultural Oklahoma/Utah conflicts). Like many of you, when asked "Why are you not married yet?", I have no honest response (although many pithy ones that I do not verbally express). There are a myriad of ways to respond: it could be Heaven's timing (for which I'd love a calendar), I haven't found the right "one" (no, I don't believe in a soul-mate), or a thousand other "reasons" it could be. Chances are it is a combination of many of them; only you and the Lord can know what those particulars may be.

But one factor that could be contributing (in part) to some of the singleness, yours and mine, are these darn walls around our hearts. I don't like them, you don't like them, none of us like them. And yet, due to past hurts, current fears of rejection, perhaps previous abandonment or abuse or whatever other trauma we endured, we have them. I do, you do, we all do. They don't make any of us "broken", they make us mortal.


A few days ago I had a long conversation with a close friend about 

I think we all have days, weeks, months or perhaps even years in life where we feel "stuck", where the flow of progress seems to slow down or stall (at least in our opinion). I believe that there are natural ebbs and flows to our existence in this world, but on the same key I think we naturally abjure the periods where our progress feels obstructed, blocked or otherwise diminished. 

Perhaps we are all secretly bobsledders who want to race towards the finish line (of success)! 

It can be extremely challenging for the soul (not to mention our patience) when we are "stuck" in an fulfilling career, facing difficult financial stress, enduring a lull in a relationship or just dealing with some phase on the sea of life where the winds of change have stopped blowing. Does that mean your job or relationship or financial choices are terrible? No; it can just mean that something needs to happen to change the game (even if that change needs to be your attitude about the circumstances). 

So what is to be done? How can we break out of that "stuck" feeling? Do we wait for God, fate or the winds of change to make it happen? We could. I'm all for faith and optimism, but true faith and optimism are action principles, so maybe the change we are waiting for has to come from within. Here are four questions to ask every morning in order to see your life (and yourself) progress and grow in leaps and bounds. 

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Fire on Ice Jeremy C Holm
Racing down an icy track at 80 miles per hour leads you to think of many things. For Jeremy C. Holm, it made him think of God. In Fire and Ice, Holm shares his experiences as a bobsled pilot and coach, presenting a message of faith and personal courage that will inspire you to come closer to Jesus Christ and reach for that ultimate prize of eternal life.

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The Champions Way Jeremy C Holm
How do we achieve gold medal moments in life? How do we find peace and confidence and what truly makes us happy? Discover the answers in Jeremy's new ebook, "The Champion's Way", available now at Amazon.com

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