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*Note: This essay is the fifth of seven authored by Jeremy for the LDS Midsingle (31-45+) community. The opinions and thoughts shared therein are his own and unless otherwise noted all names and circumstances of stories have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved.
As an LDS midsingle, I have heard quite a bit of talk about "walls" lately. I don't mean Donald Trump's Mexico Wall, Pink Floyd's album, or even the Great Wall of China. No, these walls are of a more personal nature for each of us as human beings and children of God.
I am, of course, referring to those emotional and mental walls that form around our hearts.
As someone who is all too familiar with such walls, I have spent the past few years seeking out the right tools to break down some of my own. Contrary to popular (unpopular?) opinion, dating is not easy for me (I blame it on the cultural Oklahoma/Utah conflicts). Like many of you, when asked "Why are you not married yet?", I have no honest response (although many pithy ones that I do not verbally express). There are a myriad of ways to respond: it could be Heaven's timing (for which I'd love a calendar), I haven't found the right "one" (no, I don't believe in a soul-mate), or a thousand other "reasons" it could be. Chances are it is a combination of many of them; only you and the Lord can know what those particulars may be.
But one factor that could be contributing (in part) to some of the singleness, yours and mine, are these darn walls around our hearts. I don't like them, you don't like them, none of us like them. And yet, due to past hurts, current fears of rejection, perhaps previous abandonment or abuse or whatever other trauma we endured, we have them. I do, you do, we all do. They don't make any of us "broken", they make us mortal.
A few days ago I had a long conversation with a close friend about
I think we all have days, weeks, months or perhaps even years in life where we feel "stuck", where the flow of progress seems to slow down or stall (at least in our opinion). I believe that there are natural ebbs and flows to our existence in this world, but on the same key I think we naturally abjure the periods where our progress feels obstructed, blocked or otherwise diminished.
Perhaps we are all secretly bobsledders who want to race towards the finish line (of success)!
It can be extremely challenging for the soul (not to mention our patience) when we are "stuck" in an fulfilling career, facing difficult financial stress, enduring a lull in a relationship or just dealing with some phase on the sea of life where the winds of change have stopped blowing. Does that mean your job or relationship or financial choices are terrible? No; it can just mean that something needs to happen to change the game (even if that change needs to be your attitude about the circumstances).
So what is to be done? How can we break out of that "stuck" feeling? Do we wait for God, fate or the winds of change to make it happen? We could. I'm all for faith and optimism, but true faith and optimism are action principles, so maybe the change we are waiting for has to come from within. Here are four questions to ask every morning in order to see your life (and yourself) progress and grow in leaps and bounds.